When Doesn't It Matter?
by Aya Rose
Summary: Disjointed? Yes, but it's all one story.
1. Fudged

In case you don't know, I do not own Sailor Moon. If I did, it would probably have more plot in that SuperS season. But I don't so it doesn't. Life continues.  
  
As a side note to new readers, all two of you, this one is right off another 'story' of mine, "It Doesn't Matter". But being completely different makes it it's own beloved partial scene of loveliness. To keep you up to date, this is well after Stars. Usagi is either recently married or has been for a while, I can't decide. Naru, after becoming increasingly distant since Sailor Moon started, has sent a letter to Usagi informing her of her impending absence, see also "It Doesn't Matter" chapter One.  
  
~  
  
"Abandoned? But... I didn't mean to. It... just happened." Talking to herself was a bad habit, worse when she forgot that Luna was usually listening in. Of course, Luna was keeping quiet today, her own advisory opinions locked in her kitty brain. Usagi was already upset enough, she didn't need to add to it.  
  
The little dark haired girl that had become ChibiUsa's friend stopped by to drop it off. She looked horrible, like she hadn't slept in days, and was moving with a paranoia innate to people who think they're being followed. She tried her best to be polite, bowing at the right times, smiling when spoken to, but she still looked as if the world was out to kill her. She even came in side for tea, only calming down once the door was closed.  
  
It wasn't until after the troubled girl had left did she find it. A pink envelope, sealed with a gold star, with her name carefully placed on the outer edge. Usagi hadn't seen one of those envelopes since high school. It was just one of those cute things that Naru would do when sending her notes and letters. The fact the was under the edge of the table that Ruruna had been sitting at was not lost on the blond, though she couldn't figure out why she would be afraid of delivering a little note from a friend.  
  
Then she read it.  
  
Then a pillar of her world crumbled under her.  
  
And she didn't want to believe it. It couldn't be. They were dead, there was nothing left, all of it was gone.  
  
But Naru wouldn't have gone so far as to get TV time for a practical joke. On all the news stations, Naru was there, and a woman with blue skin, bat wings, and a business suit. Requesting something from the government... It was really really technical. It didn't even look like Naru understood it completely, but it was happening, live for the cameras in front of her.  
  
A part of her started to reach for her communicator, a wiser portion going for the phone instead as it was much easer to explain as she dialed Mina's cell phone number. Entire portions of her body numb from tensely wishing this was just a silly dream. One she would wake up from any moment now, snuggled against her Mamo-chan.  
  
The answers she got were only more disheartening. "Yes, I have been out patrolling a bit lately, why do you ask?" "Well, there was this girl a few nights ago, and she was able to knock me around a bit, just some nasty bruises. You know how some of the martial artists get at times." "Well, I haven't seen her since, so I never thought it was worth bringing up." "No, It was pretty dark, and I didn't get a good look at her face." "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow at the shrine then?"  
  
Usagi's voice was upbeat in on the phone, but that smile never quite reached her eyes. After hanging up, she read the letter again. And a third time. And while everything in it so far had been true, she couldn't... didn't want to believe it.  
  
Little things about the letter became more apparent. The fact it smelled like Naru's perfume. The places where Naru had erased and rewritten entire sentences. The deformed spots that looked like tears. Usagi could not bring herself to stop trying to figure out what every tiny mark could be.  
  
How long had Naru kept her secret? It sounded like there was something evil inside her best friend, something she couldn't control anymore. Apparently it told her to kill people, and hurt anyone that stood in her way. And it had been there a very long time, waiting for her to make a slip so it could run free.  
  
All the time spent trying to save her from monsters. Trying to keep her from danger, from being hurt. And Sailor Moon still couldn't save her. All the powers, all the people saved, saving the entire planet a number of times, and she still couldn't even save her best friend. All those years fighting evil, and she never even had a clue what Naru was fighting right in front of her.  
  
Maybe if she hadn't pushed Naru away, it could have been different. Maybe if she didn't have to hide her secret identity from her. A lot of good it did. Apparently, Naru already figured it out long ago, and still never told a soul. All the hiding was for nothing. All the excuses, the lies... for nothing.  
  
Not that she helped the situation. Because of Sailor Moon, she couldn't be there for Naru. Because of Sailor Moon, she pushed her friend away for her own safety. Because of Sailor Moon, Naru wouldn't tell her what was wrong when she needed help most...  
  
And because of Sailor Moon, Usagi wept. 


	2. Ami is much stronger then she looks

Don't own Sailor Moon. Also there's dialog. A LOT of dialog. In 1st person no less.  
  
~oOo~  
  
And in that single short instant, she Understood.  
  
~  
  
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*  
  
Who could be banging on the door this early. The sun's not even up yet. And it's my only day off this week. I pull the door open to see the smiling blond at my door.  
  
"Good morning Mako.. umm... Ami-chan?" Minako looks confused at me, eyes moving back and forth between my tired face and the numbers on the apartment door, "I thought this was Makoto's apartment? Did I get lost?"  
  
Sigh. "Makoto went into to the college early to finish a project.... Why are you here so early. It's..." I look for the bright red clock numbers somewhere in the front room, "Only five am..." My body is happily kicking me for studying till one in the morning. The bed is practically calling out to me, promising such nice and wonderful sleep.  
  
She still looks confused, though a light of understanding hits her eyes, "Oh! Oh, oh yeah. You know, the early bird beats up the cat." She smiles as if that will make her statement somehow make more sense to me.  
  
"Did you... want to... come in or something?"  
  
"Thank you for asking! I'd love to!" Making a beeline through the door and appartment to flick on Mako-chan's coffee maker.  
  
"Do.. you do this often Minako?"  
  
"Oh, only when I'm up all night." Blurring as she moves in the kitchen, systematically making a pot, not even looking for the components as much as simply just knowing where they are. "I really just need to... you know, _talk_ to someone, and you know how Rei likes being woken before she has to be."  
  
The smell of percolation is pretty strong, and very good at waking me, a part of my mind reminding me to tighten the robe around my body for decency's sake, "And you usually talk to Makoto?"  
  
"Well, she's the only one up this early... usually." Her eyes go wide, "Not that... well, You see... We're really just friends." She giggles uncomfortably, hand behind her head. She was never really good at hiding embarrassment.  
  
Sigh. "So what did you want to talk about?" I sit down at on a barstool watching as Mina goes wide eyed again.  
  
"Well, it's all just a theory, but... I think I understand why Usagi is so upset right now." I just nod my head urging her to go on. "I think Usagi is polyamorous."  
  
It's still too early for this. "You think she sleeps with lots of people?" I knew Mina was a little wacky, but this is a little out there for even her.  
  
"No, no, polyamorous. It's totally different."  
  
"Usagi?"  
  
"Yeah, blond girl, big ponytails, future queen?"  
  
"Why would you assume this?"  
  
"Well, for one she spends a lot of time flirting with Rei."  
  
Blink. "But... well.. it's just teasing..."  
  
"Yeah, incessant teasing, going on much further then normal for Usagi or Rei, considering after the first decade of it you'd think they'd get tired eventually?"  
  
"And she's married now, so..."  
  
"To Mamoru."  
  
"Of course..."  
  
"Who also had incessant teasing, going on much further then normal for either one of them , which calmed down drastically when they started fuc-"  
  
"Language! And you can't prove _that_ was when it stopped."  
  
"Okay, sleeping together, better? The point still stands that she treats Rei the same way she treated Mamoru."  
  
"Okay, I'll give you that..."  
  
"And Polyamorists are happier forming multiple relationships with different people."  
  
"So you're saying Usagi wants to sleep with Rei even though she's married..."  
  
"Yes.. No.. Maybe at some undefined time in the future. I think the best way to think of it is that she wants Rei to be her girlfriend."  
  
"Where did you hear all this?"  
  
"Umm.. the internet?"  
  
"The internet?"  
  
"Hey, the internet has everything on it! And it's got all the pretty, pretty pictures..."  
  
Uhoh... she's starting to get that far away look in her eyes again. Last time she did that, she didn't move for about an hour. "And what's this have to do with Usagi being upset lately."  
  
"Oh? Oh yeah.. Naru was her girlfriend."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Yeah... you wouldn't have noticed. Just think about it, what did Usagi and Naru do that wouldn't be boyfriend/girlfriend things?"  
  
"Well, they'd go out to movies some times, and shopping occasionally, and Usagi would call her when ever she had the time..."  
  
"And why didn't she have time? She had a fiancee, and then there's all the Senshi stuff we had to keep from Naru..."  
  
"So what you're saying, is that not only does Usagi love Mamaoru, she would like to go out with Rei, and she was going out with Naru before she left." Mina nods, smiling, "That's the stupidest thing I've heard this week."  
  
"Is it? Can you think of another reason Usagi would be so upset over losing a friend she hasn't been able to spend much time with in over ten years?"  
  
I want to say yes. To say that she's full of herself. But there's no other reason. Not a reasonable reason anyway. If they we're just friends, after a while they should have just drifted apart. Especially with Usagi going out of her way to avoid Naru when ever there were monsters loose. She didn't want Naru to get stuck in the middle again.  
  
And Usagi was so upset that Nephlite was going out with Naru in the first place... But he was evil...  
  
And Usagi would tag along on Naru and Umino's dates sometimes... But that was just because...  
  
And Usagi would spend any free time she had with Naru... Not that being a Senshi gave her alot of free time, especially with college, exams, and everything else eating her time...  
  
...  
  
"Oh god... She doesn't know, does she?"  
  
"Usagi? I doubt it."  
  
"How can anyone be in love with someone, and not know it?"  
  
"Well, love is a magical thing. It's different for everyone involved. Some people know it when they see it, others just stumble around looking for something that's right in front of them."  
  
"But that's... wrong though..."  
  
"No one said love was good. It's just love. Take you and Mako-chan for example."  
  
"Hey, what do you mean by that?!" I didn't mean to start yelling though.  
  
But that didn't stop Mina from curling up in the corner, squeaking out a small, "Oops."  
  
~  
  
You know, in an overarching sense, one could say I'm headed for a happy ending where everybody gets what they want in the end. Just so you know, I'm not.  
  
The world is much more messed up then that you realize. 


End file.
